


Bad Day

by Mischel



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Bad Days, Bromance, Depressed Merlin (Merlin), Depression, Gen, Help, Loneliness, Modern Era, References to Depression, Sad with a Happy Ending, can be Merthur if you want though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-18 02:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21503482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mischel/pseuds/Mischel
Summary: Merlin's been battling with his depression for a very long time. After Arthur's return, it's gotten a lot better, but that doesn't make it gone. He still has bad days, andthisis one of them.Arthur's there for him this time.Fic + art.
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 101





	Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so basically I was feeling kinda bad yesterday for being SO behind in NaNoWriMo and for being so unproductive and for wasting the entire day, so I tried writing something random down and this is the result. Enjoy :)

Merlin likes to just _feel_ the wind.

It's howling all around, blowing in his face, smoothing his hair all on one side – cold, sad, lonely. That's how he would describe both the wind and himself. His legs are dangling in the air as he closes his eyes and feels the coldness of the wind on his cheeks, just existing there, minding its own business, bending slim trees and making leaves tremble and fall.

It's . . . become a lot better since Arthur's returned. Without him, everything was black and sad and lonely and _depressed_ almost every day, and with him . . . it's just some of the days. It's still there though, haunting him, reminding him of the times before Arthur's return, the times of endless waiting and sleepless nights, lonely walks through the dark alleys . . .

Sometimes, he feels better to be alone when he's like this. He can't help it. He should be in a good mood, he really _should_ be, because hey, Arthur's back and everything is so much better now than how it used to be. But . . . that's not really how it works, is it? The bad days still come and envelop him, overwhelm him, make him so exhausted that he just wants to curl up in bed and die, and it makes him so, _so_ guilty that he feels that way and that he can't help it because he doesn't have a reason to feel that way, Arthur's _back_ and he _should_ be happy.

So . . . so that's why he goes away. He can't face Arthur on days like these, he doesn't want him to be in a bad mood too because Arthur's already been through all that in the first couple months after his return. Merlin can't even imagine what it had to be like to suddenly come back to life and realize that everything you've known in life, everything you've relied on and everyone you've loved is just . . . gone. Forgotten. Erased. Merlin's lived through that slowly, while Arthur had to face it all in one day.

So that's why he doesn't want Arthur to come and experience this- this . . . _dark_ mood of his. He doesn't want him to know about it, but he knows that Arthur knows anyway _._ He could always tell when something was off with Merlin, so it wasn't really a surprise when he started recognising when exactly Merlin had good days and when he had bad days and left.

It's not a surprise now either, when he feels the king climb up the cold climbing frame, slowly sitting down next to Merlin on the metal bars and feeling the wind with him.

Merlin wishes he wasn't there to witness the darkest moments of his life, but now that he's here, he can't help but feel glad.

It's silent for a while and they just sit there and listen to the cold silence, not minding the cold sting of the bars on their palms.

Then Arthur sighs and asks, "One of the bad days today?"

Merlin nods in answer. "Yeah."

Arthur hums and gently lays his hand on Merlin's shoulder in support. Merlin feels the warmth spread there, reminding him that no matter how many bad days he has in his life, no matter how awful he feels for seemingly no reason, he'll never truly be alone. Not anymore. Arthur's right there with him, willing to help him in any way he can, even if that help means just sitting next to Merlin in the dark in silence, listening to the cold winds, staring at the trees and the lake, and slowly _thinking._

Merlin appreciates it nonetheless.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! But maybe you should go read something fluffy after this . . . and I should too :D


End file.
